The Importance of Feeling Secure

Each of us defines what it means to feel safe and secure in different ways. After all, every one of us is unique.

But the importance of feeling secure, especially about your safety, is universal. And the benefits to feeling safer are clear cut.

A.H. Maslow, one of the top experts on the human need to feel safe and secure, described feeling secure as “a feeling of confidence, safety and freedom that separates from fear and anxiety.”

Confidence. Safety. Freedom. Powerful stuff. Feeling more secure, allows you to embrace life by participating fully. With family, work, and community.

• Making a difference, and helping others while doing what you love.
• Helping your children feel secure in their world.
• Enjoying events and activities in your community.

But today we live in an insecure time. Violence and threats of violence have been normalized to extent not seen before.vAnd, as Maslow noted, with this insecurity comes fear and anxiety.

And if fear and anxiety win. We lose. Individually and collectively.

An Unsettling Time. Everywhere.

A six-year-old brings a gun to school and shoots a teacher out of anger. We didn’t use to think a 6-year-old could even form that kind of intent.

Four college students stabbed to death, by a PHD student no less, in their own home, in a community with one of the lowest historic levels of violence in the country.

A long term Walmart manager killed six co-workers at the start of their work day.

A 63-year-old man, decades older than the point where people typically age out of violence, stood up in a subway car, and started firing away, wounding 10 people.

Grocery stores. Synagogues. Hospitals. Concerts. College campuses. All places we’re accustomed to going to as part of our regular lives. Now we’re cognizant we’re taking a safety risk just by being there.

The stats for women being victimized by someone they know are powerful contributors to insecurity. 1 in 5 women (20%) have been sexually assaulted, and 1 in 4 women (25%) have been physically abused by a current or former partner, or a family member.

And finally, the violent storming of our nation’s capitol. Literally the seat of our nation’s government. And this occurred as poll after poll shows that 25% of our country believes violence is an appropriate response to government actions with which they disagree.

Pretty darn stressful all of the way around when you think about it.

For many people, the natural response to this level of insecurity about safety is to withdraw. To turn inward. To pull back from engaging in the life we want.

And this is understandable during this scary, and deeply stressful time. We’re kind of traveling through uncharted waters now.

Isn’t the Government Responsible for My Safety?

Many people blame our elected leaders for our feelings of powerlessness and insecurity. After all, isn’t keeping us safe the government’s job?

Isn’t that what we pay taxes for? For them to protect and serve us. Many police departments call themselves the “department of public safety”. So why shouldn’t you be able to rely upon them to keep you feeling secure?

For starters, in most states, there are somewhere between 300-600 police officers per 100,000 people. Most police departments operate two or three shifts per day, so divide the total number of officers per 100,000 population by one half or by one third to get the number who are working on any given shift.

And most departments operate with about 2/3’s of the total number of officers working per shift who actually serve on patrol in the community. So reduce the shift number down by another 1/3 to see how many officers are out there in the community per a given shift.

Here’s some sample math: 600 officers with three shifts = 200 officers per shift (this can be skewed a bit to increase the number of officers at night), and then of that 200, 2/3’s of them are on patrol which equals only about 132 officers per 100,000 people.

With these numbers it should be crystal clear why it’s not possible for law enforcement to keep you feeling safe and secure.

Further…

Even in the days of a beat cop on every corner, the police did not stop violence until after it occurred. Law enforcement is reactive. They respond to an incident after it occurs. Maybe in the days of the beat cop you could get lucky and they arrived as the violence was occurring.

But in the days of police on patrol in vehicles. They will get there after the fact. It’s just how it is.
On occasion they’ll arrive before an act of violence ends. But that’s rare. Their job is to investigate the violence, and then arrest the person who committed the violence.

But, if you’re the target of that violence. Law enforcement will always get there too late.

Won't the Eyes and Ears of Technology Able to Keep Us Safe When Law Enforcement Can’t?

These days, many businesses and homes have alarms, and security cameras. There are nanny camera’s doorbell cameras, traffic and street cameras.

And they can help…after the fact.

They can help law enforcement to identify a violent assailant. After the assailant has struck. They can also identify the route the assailant took when he left the scene, which can increase the ability to apprehend him.

But it’s still after the fact.

A Path to Feeling Safe and Secure

So what can be done to develop that feeling of security and safety, during an insecure time?
It’s long been known that stress comes from situations where you feel like you have no control. And that the best way to address that type of stress is to take ownership through action.

It’s not to hope and pray that someone else will take care of it for you. No one else can give you that feeling of being safe and secure.

And, while your employer has some level of responsibility to help you feel more secure about your safety while at work. Most employers, even those that have robust safety programs for fires, driving, and moving inventory, do not have a plan in place to train staff in keeping safe from violence while at work.

You; however, can teach yourself to be more secure in your safety. You hold it within your own power to take actions that lead to feeling secure about your safety. To helping your family feel safer. To being able to do the work you want to do without risk to your safety, and to safely enjoy the activities within your community.

Some of you may read this and think OK. I’ll carry a firearm, or a knife, or pepper spray. After all, that is taking some responsibility for your own sense of security.

But, there’s problems too:

Any weapon you carry can be taken from you and used against you.
There are a lot of places that you cannot carry a weapon into where you still face the risk of violence.

An innocent person can be harmed by a weapon you use to defend yourself. Especially a firearm, which can shoot through walls, and long distances.

Mechanical devices can fail. They do. And that failure can happen at the time you most need the weapon.

I spent 30 years working in some of our nation’s most dangerous areas, and have taught personal safety and self-defense for over 10 years. Here’s what it takes to be able to protect your safety enough to trust in yourself :

• Learn to avoid safety threats by improving your ability to read the environment and recognize potential threats so that you can avoid them. Avoidance is always the safest and best path to take.
• Learn to calm heated situations through implementing de-escalation techniques. Being able to de-escalate a situation is your last chance to avoid physical danger.
• Learn to improve the approaches to communication at work, and with your family, that can help protect you against violence.
• Learn to change the dynamics of an attack, before they escalate. You can develop the skills to force a violent attacker out of his game plan. To make him respond to you.
• Learn to defend yourself against an unarmed or armed violent attacker. It’s far more doable than you might believe. It does not take years of training, and you can learn to do this in your spare time, from the safety and convenience of your home or workplace.  

Ready to feel more secure about your safety? To help your family feel confident as they engage in the activities they love. To do the work you love, and help those who need assistance, so you can leave your mark on the community.

Download my free personal safety guide here. You can also watch my free pre-recorded online workshop. Just sign up using the form in the side bar.